


Reality, My One and Lonely

by nationalnobody



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Cuddles, I'm Sorry, Light Angst, M/M, Muke - Freeform, One-Sided Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-26
Updated: 2014-07-26
Packaged: 2018-02-10 11:54:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 773
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2024151
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nationalnobody/pseuds/nationalnobody
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He knows this is platonic, blatantly platonic at that. He knows Luke just wants a cuddle and not a kiss. He knows Luke just wants an arm around his waist and not a pair of lips pressed to his face but all Michael can think about is how it would be if his feelings were reciprocated.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Reality, My One and Lonely

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this at 4am on my phone and I haven't edited it so apologies in advance.

He didn’t really know what to do during times like these. When the sun had begun to filter through the lazily closed blinds and the younger boy lay soundly asleep.

It was a concept he never understood too well. The relationship he shared with Luke was bewildering at best, to him at least. He understands Luke’s train of thought whenever they’re together and it saddens him every time because that boy’s thoughts were worlds away from his own.

He knows this is platonic, blatantly platonic at that. He knows Luke just wants a cuddle and not a kiss. He knows Luke just wants an arm around his waist and not a pair of lips pressed to his face but all Michael can think about is how it would be if his feelings were reciprocated.

Sometimes he’s not so sure how he copes. Being so close to the one he would pull the moon down for and yet not being able to do anything that would make the slightest difference in their relationship. Some days he feels as if he’ll eventually end up insane, his thoughts continuously circling around in his mind like hawks eager for prey.

His thoughts feel heavy but not as heavy as his heart. He stares at the boy beside him; _this is reality_ , he chides himself.

Feather light touches are scattered across the skin he adores and he wonders absentmindedly, _am I still falling in love or have I already fallen?_

Part of him doesn’t want Luke to ever know. He thinks sometimes he must be a bit obvious but he was lucky because just as Michael was obvious Luke was oblivious.

He catches himself often enough thinking that love is scary feeling and he’s not sure whether he’s ready to admit it to another person, let alone himself.

He proceeds to pull Luke closer, basking in that particular warmth he receives only when the blonde has the need for cuddles and he’s not stupid, he knows it’s not always him. He knows he might not always be Luke’s first choice. At times he watches as Luke makes his way into Ashton’s room or Calum’s and he wishes, silently, that it didn’t have to be this way. He wishes he could have Luke in his arms only at any time he wanted, that he could be the only one for him.

However that was not how the world worked.

Sometimes Michael felt as if he was falling and it scared him. In fact, a lot of things scared him but nothing could compare to his fear of the overwhelming feelings he harboured for Luke.   
  
It felt silly to him, how did he end up here? Gradually shifting from thoughts of hate to thoughts of love. Funny, in a non-comedic way, how time changed _everything._ How, in the midst of it all, had this boy managed to worm his way into his heart he still hadn’t a clue and in all honesty he wasn’t ready for this, he doubted he’d ever be.

As he threads his fingers through tufts of blonde hair, he pauses. He thinks, idly, that it’s much too soon to be giving pieces of himself away. What if he doesn’t get them back?

In retrospect he thinks it’s laughable that he asked that question because he already knew the answer. He knew it then and he knows it now. He’d never get them back.

Lost in thought he doesn’t realise the way Luke snuggles closer or when he whispers out his name. It takes Michael a few moments to register that the blonde was awake and he realises almost reluctantly that his time with Luke was now over he sighed.

"…Morning." Luke mumbled, rubbing sleepily at his eyes.

Michael turns away because he feels he cannot stand this any longer. He wishes it didn’t have to be like this. Why couldn’t he get all his pieces back without getting hurt?

"Why won’t you give back what you’ve taken?" He whispers, afraid of his own voice.

Luke’s expression contorted into one of confusion. He didn’t know what the older boy was talking about. Michael said nothing, he simply waited but even he didn’t know what he was waiting for.

He realised eventually, but only when it was far too late.

He had waited for the day he’d be able to tell Luke everything and more but it never came around and now, as he sits alone in his newly bought apartment he thinks sadly that no, this was reality and sometimes, most times, things don’t work out the way you wanted them to.

He guesses they never will.


End file.
